The Diapers – They are here !

Introducing my son – he gets his nose from Vishal and the frown from me ! And he was born on my birthday, 27.10.2010.

Happy B’day in advance !

My birthday is coming up in a couple of days. I don’t know if its my advanced state of pregnancy or enforced house arrest but apparently my family feels sorry enough to shower me with gifts ! We were thinking about getting a 40’’ LCD T.V. for the bedroom but it was stretching our budget a bit.  As Vishal and I are both sitcom junkies and  I am going to be watching a lot of T.V. in the next couple of months, it was a good idea. However, we balked at the price and didn’t feel like settling for either a smaller size or a Plasma screen instead and decided to postpone the purchase by a few months. My other options were to change my phone or get a new camera. All gift ideas are electronic heavy due  to my distorted physical state. I am due a major shopping blowout once I can bear to look at myself in the mirror again, having survived the last six months in three pairs of XL Fab India kurtas and a bunch of T – shirts Rahul left behind. Talk about maternity fashion.

The phone was of course being pushed by Vishal in a big way. You’d think he was on Nokias  payroll, the rate at which he tries to convince people to change phones. I decided against getting a new phone on two counts. First, my current phone is perfectly adequate for texting and making calls ( that is what phones are for, people ) I considered upgrading to a phone with a good camera as I have to carry a digital camera now for taking photos and video clips in the opd. However, I am still not really convinced that the clarity of the pictures taken on any phone equals that of the camera.( I was considering the newly launched Nokia N8 with a 12 MP camera, I currently use a 7.2 MP Sony Cybershot) But again the  Rs 25,000 price tag proved an effective deterrent. How hard is it to lug around a digital camera anyway ? Also, as I am going to be at home for the next three months, there doesn’t seem to be much point in changing my phone now.

The camera idea came up because I know the kid is going to wind up getting photographed  to within an inch of its life in the first few months. Oh look, he/she is blinking ! Let us document it for posterity ! Click, click ! We were planning to get it in January as a birthday gift for my father-in-law but in view of the imminent arrival of the photo-subject decided to prepone the purchase. After much googling and multiple consultations, we bought the Nikon D3100, an entry level SLR camera with HD video capability as well. Those are all the specs  you get from me, what is this, a tech blog ?

We took the camera out for a trial run to Lodi Gardens today and I am rather pleased with the results. The weather was lovely and I got my daily recommended dose of Vitamin D.

38  weeks today

Now coming to my actual B’day gift. Vishal ordered me a Kindle 3 from Amazon which arrived yesterday ! He has a pretty bad track record with gifts, ranging from the banal to the truly bizarre. Case in point- this wooden snake which he picked up in Kodaikanal.

But the Kindle, that is a stroke of genius ! I have obviously kept an eye on Kindle since it was launched but was never too enthusiastic because of the cost of purchasing e- books on Amazon.( This entire entry seems to be a dirge on the cost of this and that, just reflects on the poverty of my soul )They cost about 10$ each, at which price I can buy a paperback. Also, I don’t like reading books on my laptop so I was not too sure about an e-book reader.

Anyway, to come back to the Kindle, I just finished reading Andre Agassi’s autobiography “Open” on it and I have to declare it an unqualified success. It is really light and portable , does not feel too delicate, the absence of backlighting ensures almost zero strain on the eyes and you can read on the loo. You can also read in any position like a paperback, holding it in either hand as the buttons for clicking back and forth are available on both the left and right edge. Mine is the basic Wi-Fi model sans 3G. The only drawback I can see till now is that it requires a case to transport it around. The original Kindle cases cost almost half as much as the device and cheaper versions don’t seem to be  available in Delhi. e-bay.in is selling one but doesn’t have a photo available. I may buy that or ask Rahul to pick one up in Hong Kong.

As should be obvious, I wouldn’t be this thrilled with it if I hadn’t solved the problem of getting cheap e-books. In the interest of not getting jailed for piracy, I refuse to elaborate further but Torrent Zindabad !        

The curse of the symptomatically-pregnant

I was planning a blog entry listing the top five pregnancy symptoms I didn’t have. It was supposed to be very smug and ha-ha and I-am-wonder-pregnant-woman  and intended to rub all pregnant womens noses in it. Of course, I was just begging for divine retribution and God obliged. But more about that later.

Lets do the top five pregnancy symptoms that never were first and get to the divine thunder and lightning part later.

1.       Morning Sickness – All these years I’d always thought I was a very pukey kind of person with an overactive gag reflex. I puke before exams, I puke at bad smells, I puke on giant wheels, I puke on mountain roads and I even puke after a prolonged bout of coughing. So, I obviously assumed that my first trimester would be one long puke fest. And as I took a pregnancy test prompted by a prolonged bout of nausea and diarrhoea, it seemed the prophecies would come true. However, the nausea turned out to be as a result of a bout of food poisoning and soon settled down. Then came a lull where I waited for the dreaded morning sickness to set in armed with all the information that my aunt and the internet could provide. But as I neared the end of my first trimester with nary a puke in sight, I had to admit that I’d managed to beat the odds. Whoopee !

2.       Mood Swings – I greeted the two purple lines on my pregnancy test with a flood of tears and six hours of raving and ranting. My chief grouse was of course that the much planned for Italy trip was now postponed indefinitely. Once I got over the initial shock , I’ve been surprisingly calm and balanced. Of course, the fact that Vishal wasn’t around for the first six months and I really couldn’t snap at his parents probably helped. Barring a couple of episodes of snapping at my sister ( which may not be hormonal ) its been remarkably smooth sailing.

3.       Food Cravings – Generally my diet is extremely craving based. I have four designated stops on my commute home when I can stop to pick up aloo tikki ( the thela next to the hospital ), bhel puri ( at Sunder Nagar ), coconut water ( outside the park before Chirag Delhi flyover ) or  Shawarma ( at PVR Saket ). I invariably make a stop at one of these joints everyday depending on my mood and level of hunger. I also stop to pick up a bhutta almost everyday when in season. Sometimes I’ll stop off at two or even three of these places. But this is my regular routine pre, intra and hopefully, post pregnancy. Maybe, my eating habits are so governed by my cravings that I had no room for adding anymore pregnancy induced ones. So, no midnight ice cream trips. I have been obsessively consuming bananas and sprouts. But that is more my obsession with eating healthy than any craving per se.

4.       Skin and hair changes – There has been almost no change in my complexion. I am genuinely glad to have been spared the horrifying acne which I’ve seen on some colleagues. My dark circles are as prevalent as before and I have a noticeable lack of any glow. My hair has become even more frizzy and dry and unmanageable. I’ve probably also sprouted a few dozen more white strands than before. But if you encountered my tricoloured ( black, white and  mehendi – orange ) shaggy mane you’d agree that any pregnancy damage is trivial.

5.       Constipation or Diarrhoea – I am blessed with bowel movements as regular as clockwork. Just to rub it in, I also had no heartburn, no headaches, no varicose veins etc.

I’ve been having this nagging back pain for the last week, but I just assumed it was a sprain because of bad posture. A couple of days back, it suddenly got worse and I was in too much pain to even finish my opd. Then I realized that I had a new shooting pain radiating to my left leg which didn’t improve in any position. By the time, I got home I was in bad shape. Even a tiny movement of my spine would send teeth rattling jolts of pain down my leg. I was sweating and crying trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. I finally managed to get to sleep lying on my side on a hard mattress on the floor. I can’t even describe the agony of trying to turn over. The next morning, my spinal muscles had developed a painful spasm limiting all movement. Anyway, I’ve taken leave and am gradually improving. I spent a couple of days resembling Frankensteins aunt,  walking with my right hip stuck out and dragging my left leg around. But my spinal mobility is improving gradually and hopefully I shall be as good as new by the time labour hits. The big question is - do I go back to work for a week or just kick back and relax and enjoy the last couple of weeks of uninterrupted sleep before the storm hits ?

By the way, 37 weeks tomorrow so no more Proleuton injections. Who-hoooo !       

Neemrana

I and Vishal went for a weekend to the Neemrana Fort Palace near Alwar last weekend. As I am not supposed to travel long distances, this sounded like the best option we could find near Delhi. Normally, staying at a five star resort is not my version of a holiday at all. I think you should spend less on accomodation and more on travel and eat what you can get. But considering the fact that I get breathless climbing a single flight of stairs, currently my travel options are limited. We left in the afternoon after I finished my scheduled surgeries on Friday and it took us three hours to reach there from Daryaganj. The Gurgaon toll road and the Jaipur highway were pleasantly free of traffic in the afternoon. Vishal is currently thrilled with the GPS navigator on his phone and I have to admit its kind of fun watching the blue dot (us) slowly eat up the road and move towards the red dot ( the hotel).

The hotel is located just a couple of kilometers off the highway but those two kilometers wind through a little village and are pretty rough and bumpy.I do think the Neemrana people could put in a little effort to maintain it better.  After parking the car, there was a pretty steep winding walk to get to the reception with me clinging to the metal railing and watching the luggage laden porters whizz bye. Oh the bygone era of taking steps two at a time! We stayed at the Gujarat Mahal on the first day and in the Gagan Mahal on the second day. The Gujarat Mahal was located in the central courtyard and was a pretty large room with a huge marble lined bathroom. What I liked most was a marble stool  in the bathroom where you could sit down and take a bath. Cool if you are ten kgs overweight in a lopsided fashion. Here comes the doozy ! No T.V.! I thought Vishal would cry and drive us back post haste. However, he manfully gritted his teeth and got through the weekend by downloading loads of apps and games on his i-phone.

Child rearing tip: Teach the kid how to read at an early age. Its the best survival skill ever. You can get through anything from hours in a Doctors waiting room to eating alone at a restaurant if you have a book to hide behind.

Dinner was a buffet served in a hall on a different wing of the hotel. Getting there involved me navigating dozens more flights of stairs. The food was decent but nothing to rave about. The breakfast spread was much better. They had the usual spread of cereals, fresh fruit,juice, varieties of bread and fruit preserves, two kinds of eggs,porridge and a vegetarian dish (poha on one day,idly the next).The swimming pool is open air and located on one of the courtyards. The pool is a little small but a nice place to splash around in especially with kids. In fact, the guests primarily consisted of young couples with kids. Oh and I spotted a couple of super nannies on holiday. I now have some burning questions I need answers to. Does the nanny get to eat at the 1000 Rs per head buffet as well and where does she sleep ? With the kids or are there special nanny rooms ?

Our room on the second night was right at the top of the fort, up another gruelling flight of stairs. Great views and a strong fresh breeze though. This room was tiny and probably used by the night sentry on look out duty in olden days. Reminded me of those hill station cottages with odd nooks and crannies. We took the audio guide tour of the fort and realised there were a lot of hidden stairs and courtyards and the fort was a lot bigger than we had thought initially. I have never taken an audio guide tour before and realized that I am that nerd who is not satisfied until I see every corner and window and portrait that is mentioned. The owners need to credited for the painstaking restoration of the fort. However, somehow I didn’t feel the majesty and romance and the vague melancholy of the past. Some of the atmosphere has definitely been lost in the process of building swimming pools and conference halls.

If you are an Indian headed to Neemrana, I would definitely recommend that you opt for one of the medium-high budget rooms and plan a stay of two days at the maximum. The Firangs might fancy a longer stay because of the novel experience of staying in an actual fort. A single nights stay is also a good option for travellers driving in from Delhi.

Adventure sports in the form of zipping on cables suspended between the valleys is a big attraction and looked like a lot of fun. It is organized by a company called Flying Fox and is something I would definitely try on a repeat visit.       

Books and Brothers

I just finished reading Teacher Man by Frank McCourt, the third part of his trilogy following Angela’s Ashes and ‘Tis. Teacher Man is nowhere as compelling as the first two books and one vaguely gets the feeling that Mr.McCourt just ran out of steam and churned out a third book to capitalize on all the buzz created by the first two. Also the book is really dry due to the complete absence of any mention of his family life and especially his colorful brother Malachy.
He really should take a leaf out of Gerald Durrels book who literally made a fortune lampooning his illustrious brother Laurence. I have been meaning to read Laurence Durrels Alexandria quartet for a while now just to get a less jaundiced view of the man. Never got around to it because the book jackets looked vaguely dull. Someday, Someday !

Booked !

I have been scrutinizing various city hospitals with a beady eye from a labour and delivery point of view. To state the obvious, South Delhi is dotted with various corporate hospitals of the shiny lights and polished floors variety. After careful consideration, I decided to give the stand alone birthing centres a miss. Call me paranoid but if I rupture a vessel and start haemmorhaging away, I’d rather have an intensivist in attendance than an aromatherapist.


So, I went and booked at one of the city's older multi speciality hospitals which is posh but not too pink. I have been a little worried about how much of a dent this whole exercise is going to make on my pocket, but I was pleasantly surprised. Even a labour suite where you can deliver in the comfort of your own private room costs about as much as a flat screen tv. And the difference in cost between a normal delivery and a caesarean section is that between a 42” and a 46” inch screen. While relieved that bringing my offspring into the world isn’t going to condemn me to the poorhouse, I still think that Indian medical professionals are among the worst paid in the world. Come on, how logical is it that the guy who routes your money to the Cayman Islands is paid in crores while the one who operates on your eye gets a few thousands ? Toss me a fat cheque when you next see me for the force of my arguments. Also, I could really do with the cash for the above mentioned reasons.

Of Flatulent dogs and omnipresent nannies

Bruno with macho collar - with effect ruined by tinkling pink bell


So, our labrador, Bruno, has been having an upset stomach for the last couple of days. He is lethargic, a little off colour and has been having episodes of diarrhoea. But the most interesting development is his loud, unselfconcious and incessant farting. Now, I’ve never put much thought into the topic of dog farts but it does lend a new aromatic dimension to watching reruns of ‘ How I met your mother’. I set out to investigate the cause of the above mentioned upset stomach and was informed by the cook that we’ve run out of his regular dog food and he’s been wolfing down human chow for the last couple of days. Now that order has been restored in the world and he is back on Pedigree( Vegetarian, of course) hopefully the mushroom clouds arising from his nether regions will be a thing of the past.


Which brings me to the second part of my post. How dependent are we on our domestic servants ? I am of course, an extreme example. As a child of that glorious institution, the Indian Railways , I find it perfectly normal to live in a house ( or envy inciting colonial Bunglow ) with more domestic staff than family members. Having shrewdly plotted to prolong above shiftless existence, I now live with my in-laws and assorted domestic staff responsible for everything from bringing me my morning Bournvita to giving Bruno his weekly bath. The thing to be noted here is of course that most of these people are paid to do the work which I should be doing in order to justify my existence in the world. One apparently indispensable member of the Delhi household seems to be a young girl of indeterminate age who is fashionably referred to as the Nanny or more realistically as the Ayah. She is pretty easily spotted in most public places but especially in malls, parks and restaurants. Select Citywalk especially seems to attract disproportionate numbers on weekends. Note that as the Delhi nannies are a far cry from the Degree in Child Psychology weilding Park Avenue nannies, they are rarely left alone with their charges. The entourage usually consists of mummy and daddy in front trailed by Nanny with Chikki/ Sweety / Pinki in tow. In cars, mummy and daddy enjoy uninterrupted conversation in front while Nanny wrestles with an unhappy Chikki/ Sweety / Pinki in the back.( Yes, I rudely peer into peoples cars ) In restaurants, mummy and daddy fork sushi while Nanny monitors Chikki/ Sweety / Pinki throwing a tantrum on the floor. Truly ubiquitous. I ,of course would have been oblivious to the existence of the Nanny species had not the question of my acquiring one of my own arisen. Being seven months pregnant and utterly incapable in most domestic duties, even I shudder at the fate of my offspring. For now, I am taking the moral high ground and have decided that I can dispense with the sevices of the omnipresent nanny. Under the implicit agreement that diaper duty will be shared by my husband and two sets of weirdly enthusiastic grandparents to be. Let us toast to the future and hope I am capable of tolerating my own flesh and blood through the course of a Happy Meal without the support of super nanny.